You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore

I am so sick and tired of watching couples take each other for granted. Serial daters, serial monogomists, and apparently according to Showtime's "Dexter", even serial killers are always in a relationship, and because of it, they cannot appreciate what they have...cause they don't know what it's like to go without.

If I had a dollar for every couple that I wait on at the restaurant that is absolutely MISERABLE together, I wouldn't have to work there anymore. Night after night it's the same thing. A couple comes in and they snap at or ignore each other, tell one another what to do, complain, belittle, and just generally mope while they dine together. It disgusts me.

I can't figure out what these people are still doing together. If you can't stand to look at his ugly face anymore, then get up and leave! And if the mere sound of her voice is driving you up the wall, what are you sticking around for? Has everyone lost faith in themselves and in love?

I know people have bad days, I have 'em too, but this goes beyond that. This is how a lot of people are just existing together. They are going through the motions day after day completely unaware that THIS is their life. Life isn't going to start later people, or when THIS is over. As Michael Jackson very succinctly, albeit posthumously, pointed out, "THIS IS IT!".

I watch over and over these people sit together and just MISS it. They clearly can't see the person sitting less than a foot away from them. If they were paying attention they would either be fascinated by this other individual, cause let's face it, people and life are just soooo fascinating!, or they would wake up and realize, "What the hell am I doing wasting another minute with this person?", cause let's face it, some people suck.

I want to shake people and say to them, "LOOK! Look at this gorgeous man right in front of you! Can't you see how lucky you are to have him?! Can't you see how lucky you are that he loves you? Can't you see how lucky you are to have someone to spend time with and to talk to, someone to wrap their arms around you?!". It goes both ways too, I would love to say the same to some men about the glorious women with whom they keep company.

And then there are the others to whom I would like to say, "RUUUUUN!!!! Run as fast as you can! Can't you see how your life is just slipping away from you? Can't you see how much time you are wasting and how bad this person and this situation is for you?!?! Don't you know there is happiness out there for you? DON'T GIVE UP!"

If any of these people could remember both the glory and the loneliness of being single (if in fact any of them ever have been...I know a lot of people have been in some kind of a relationship since about third grade), then surely they would either: A) Reflect on those lonely days and remember to appreciate the person they have been blessed with sharing their life with, or B) Get the hell out of an un-fulfilling relationship that is toxic to everyone involved and just spend some quality time with themselves for once...and then go find someone who doesn't make them want to vomit 24/7.

It pains me because I see the same patterns over and over. The women nag and boss the men around and then the men simply tune out and/or become doormats. There are other patterns, but this is the one I see the most. And I'm not hating on women, my guess is that the nagging starts because the men don't step up to the plate most of the time (cause these people probably aren't right for each other and he probably isn't really in love) and it just becomes this vicious cycle.

To be a single gal and want so badly to find someone to love is hard sometimes. Not all of the time, but yeah...a lot of the time. And it adds salt to the wound to see people just waste one another when I know how much I would appreciate having someone in my life. I feel like the many years on my own have been a great training ground for what NOT to do when I finally do find that special someone. I feel lucky in that way.

I too have been guilty of taking someone for granted and nagging and all of the rest, but that's because THEY WEREN'T RIGHT FOR ME!!!! Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I plan to learn from these observations.

There is someone out there for everyone...even "Dexter", so I'm not going to give up on the hope that I might find someone someday to sit across from in a restaurant and be fascinated by the words coming out of their mouth, or intrigued by the shape of their face. I will remember being lonely and feel grateful to have them in my life. I will remember the freedom of being single and respect that they too are making a compromise to be with me. And most of all, I will remember to feel blessed that this person has chosen to spend their time with me when there are so many others out there to choose from.

You WILL Bring Me Flowers...

but I will bring you some too:)