The Island of Lost Men

So, last week I mentioned meeting a "Tall Dark and Handsome Stranger" and I had questioned whether or not that meeting was "To be continued"...Well...I guess it's not. After said stranger gave me his card at the MOCA party I assumed that that meant he wanted me to contact him...I mean what else was I supposed to think, right? I emailed him on Facebook and said "It was nice meeting you yada yada" and he emailed back asking how the rest of the night turned out. I told him, he responded, then I responded to that...and now, you guessed it:

Crickets.

Chirping.

That was a week ago.

Over the last few days, like all women do, I've asked all of my girlfriends (and boyfriends) what the the deal is with this nutso scenario. Here is what they've had to say:

Girl 1: He probably only dates girls in their 20's.

Me: Please hold while I go kill myself.

Girl 2: He's probably gay.

Me: Um...

Guy 1: Maybe he's shy.

Me: Shyness isn't one of the topics covered in "He's Just Not That Into You" or "The Rules".

Girl 3: Burn "The Rules". That book should be banned.

Me: But I already memorized it...

Guy 2: He' probably just really busy.

Me: I'm pretty sure that's French for "He's just not that into you."

Guy 3: I think you just attract assholes.

Me: Thanks. That's nice.

I think it would be nice to know what happened between the night we met and that last email to make a guy decide that he doesn't even want to take me on one date just to see what it would be like? Why was he "into me" one minute and not the next? I find that when you don't know the answer to this question it will just nag and nag at you til you just wanna rip your hair out. Perhaps I can learn something valuable from the answer. After all, back in second grade, I was told that there are no stupid questions. And I'm not the only person that's faced with this either. I hear these stories from women over and over and over...and over...and (you get the picture).

A girlfriend of mine, let's call her Z, loves to tell me this story of an amazing date that she went on with this one guy. She really liked him and thought that they had totally hit it off...then, she didn't hear from him for a week. Sounds familiar right? Yes, cause we've all been there. But what makes this story different is that after a few more days this guy did something completely unheard of. He called Z and said to her, "Hey, I'm sorry that I sort of just disappeared. I think you are really great, and I had a great time hanging out with you, but I've decided to give things with my ex another chance." Now, this guy did not owe Z this explanation. People are free to come and go in and out of our lives as they please, but what this did for her was let her know exactly where she stood and that she hadn't made some ridiculous dating blunder. She was free to move on without ever giving the experience a second thought...except maybe this: "Wow, what a stand up guy. That was nice of him."

Yes. It was.

My thing is this, I was minding my own business the other night. I was not making eyes at this guy. I did not approach this guy. I was just living my life...and then he came up and invited himself into it...Twice. And when he gave me his card he said something like "Hey, I have a great group of friends who live out in Venice. It would be great for you to come hang out some time". Now, I don't know about you, but I read that to mean: "Hey I have a great group of friends who live out in Venice. It would be great for you to come hang out some time." Call me crazy.

Speaking of crazy...how come a person can just not respond to an email, which last time I checked is bad manners and kinda rude, but if you care enough to ask them about it you are considered psycho? Isn't that sort of a leap?

There's a great Sex and the City episode where Carrie gives her number to that alcoholic and he never calls her. The following scene unfolds like so (this is not verbatim, but from memory, so forgive me if I don't quote it exactly):

Carrie: ...and he hasn't called.

Miranda: I give him three more days and then send him to "The Island of Lost Men".

Carrie: I don't want to send him there, he was so cute. (Gasp) Maybe he thinks I'm ugly!

Miranda: Oh my god, a guy doesn't call you and now you're ugly?

And this is the exact conversation that a cricket chirping (aka-silence) situation will bring forth. Carrie knows she's a great catch so it's hard for her to imagine why this cute guy who she had a fun coffee with doesn't want to pursue something further.

And that's exactly how I feel...minus the coffee.

I know I'm not ugly and he certainly WAS cute, but I think he's about to take a little trip.

Bon Voyage!