Fuggetaboutit

I am in love with Tony Soprano.

I know I'm about 10 years late jumping on the "The Sopranos" bandwagon, but that's what happens when you refuse to pay for cable.  Sue me.

So, I'm having this dream last night that I work for Tony Soprano.  I'm at this hotel and I'm on the roof.  I'm  ducking behind this partition with about 15 or so illegal immigrants from Mexico and on a neighboring roof, a sniper is trying to pick us off one by one.  Apparently this is what I do.  I smuggle immigrants into the country.  Gangster Coyote.  Yup, that's me.

Um.

Anyway, I leave the scene (hoping they can fend for themselves, one of my associates is there and is going to finish getting the immigrants to safety) to go do whatever else it is that I do.  Sometime later in the dream I am trying to get back onto the roof and now one of Tony's other "soldiers" won't let me get back up there.  Apparently I don't have "clearance" or some bull crap.  It's a woman and she's a total biznatch and OF COURSE I just assume that she's messing with me because she's jealous of me for some reason.  Whatever.  So, I very bravely (okay stupidly) go to find Tony to talk to him about my situation.  I find Tony in the middle of a conversation with one of his main guys and I have the gaul to actually INTERRUPT him and ask him if we can speak in private.

Am I TRYING to get myself killed?

He's fatter, shorter and sweatier in my dream than he is on the show, but this doesn't stop me from being hopelessly madly in love with him.   I proceed to explain to him my situation.  In the dream he doesn't know about this little side business I'm doing and I'm not sure he will approve, so I'm super scared that at any moment he might lose his shiz and try to shoot me.

While I am telling him what the dealio is, I start to cry.  I am apparently SUPER passionate about the plight of these people that I am trying to help.  I think I'm starting to get somewhere with him, when all of a sudden he walks away from me and goes into a bathroom and shuts the door.  After a few moments I can hear him taking a shower.

Okay, well, it was nice talking to you.  Jeez.  The manners on this guy!

I pathetically wait outside the door for over 30 minutes.  He never comes back out.

I tell you what, my subconscious doesn't miss I beat: 

Here is a man who is wildly inappropriate for me as a love interest.  Number one, he's married, number two he's dangerous, and number three, he's a violent criminal and misogynist.  Just to name a few.  Of COURSE I'm madly in love with him.  What woman who's lost every shred of self esteem WOULDN'T love him?  (No I have not forgotten that he is a fictional character from a television show.)

Then there is the issue of what I do for a living in this dream.  I am a bleeding heart humanitarian who will risk her life for the sake of another human being who is less fortunate for herself.  Well, I wouldn't go that far in real life, but it's true that I have a heart of gold that seems to be about as unappreciated by men as flatulence on a first date.

And then there is my pathetic and loyal devotion to a person who treats me so crappy that they walk away from me mid sentence and shut a door in my face.  While I am CRYING!!!

It all sounds about right.

I can't wait for Season 3.
It arrives tomorrow.