Or Not

Remember the episode where Carrie gets her shoes stolen from that Baby Shower and then she "marries" herself and registers for Manolo Blahniks (Season Six, Episode 9, "The Right to Shoes")?  Well, I'm having one of those kinds of days.

What kind of day is that you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  I'm having the kind of day where my vacation for Europe is coming up in two weeks and I checked my balance today in my checking account cause it's the first and I gotta pay rent, and realized that I don't have any money.  How come I don't have any money you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  There are two reasons why I don't have any money:  Number one, I am a waitress and number two, I am single.

Now waitressing isn't really that bad of a gig financially, but when your rent goes up 3% every year, and gas prices go up, and jeans cost $200 (I do NOT own a pair of $200 jeans btw), and you get older and the cost of your lifestyle goes up, but you are making the same money you were making 10 years ago...things get kinda tight financially.  That's not to mention that I don't get paid time off, so if I want to go anywhere, I have to have money for the air fare and hotel, plus spending money, PLUS I have to save enough money to cover all of the days that I miss from work, so vacations cost twice as much for me as they do for a normal person.  Throw in Yoga Certification Training and the time you had to take off from work to afford that (so you could better yourself and crawl out of this financial hole), then things become financially suffocating.

What does being single have to do with it?  Well, for one, I pay for all of my rent myself.  If I had a dude living here, I'd be shopping every weekend and going on two vacations a year, but no dude wants to live with me, we've established that, so I gotsta pay the bills my damn self.

When you are in your 20's, being broke is sort of the "thing".  You just live with it cause everyone else is in the same boat.  But when you get into your 30's and everyone else is buying homes, spending weekends in Napa and Santa Barbara, shopping for day cares, and doing whatever else it is that "grown-ups" (i.e. couples) do, you feel like crap if you aren't doing the same.

Welcome to Crapville.

On top of the home buying and baby having, there's one thing that stands out above all others...and that's the wedding.  Not only do you not have anyone to split the rent with, or to LOVE for crying out loud, you don't get the "Price Is Right Showcase Showdown" either.  What do singles get?  Most likely herpes or syphilis (I hear it's making a comeback), but you sure as hell don't get a new set of pots and pans, of that I am certain.  And well, that needs to change.

We need to implement into our society a system where once you reach 35, if your ass ain't married yet, you get a PARTY!...and a honeymoon AND you get to register for shit.  It's only fair.  I mean, you need a party so you can drink yourself silly and numb the pain of going to bed each night alone and waking up to a new wrinkle each morning.  And you need schwag so you can catch up with the Joneses.  At this age, it's time for nicer sheets, proper cutlery, and Egyptian cotton towels.  You think I'm buyin' Egyptian anything on this single gals income, you trippin' (unless you are getting married and you registered for them, then I will buy them for YOU).  And this is the point they make on SATC, that that same single gals income is reduced even more by all of the wedding and baby shower gifts they have to buy.  It's been an active last few years for some of my lady friends, and I don't get a "buy your friends some gifts cause their life is going way better than yours" bonus at the end of every year.  Those gifts are coming out of my "buy something sexy to wear and go out so that you can snatch up a husband of your own" budget (which doesn't exist while I'm paying for my own health insurance)!

I call bullshizzzzzzz!

I know it's all relative and things could be worse.  There are people without food, shelter, or proper medical care, but I'm about a paycheck away from being one of those people, so...that's a wash.  Our society is changing and traditions need to change with it.  I graduated from Yoga Training and I didn't even get taken to dinner.  If I had graduated from college I would have been showered with money and gifts.  Well, I'm sorry I didn't go into $100,000 of debt to get a "proper" education, but I have been more or less taking care of myself since I was 18 and that's been about 18 years that I've been in the school of hard knocks.  That should count for something.

Our society only recognizes certain things as celebratory, certain people even.  It's total bologna.  Singles are overlooked in so many ways and it really blows because HELLO we are already being overlooked!!!  It would be nice to be celebrated in some special way for all of the things that we have accomplished and all of the things that we've had to endure...alone.  Our strength should be celebrated on a weekly basis as far I'm concerned.  A parade with fireworks would do nicely...or even a Pinkberry.

Carrie said, "The fact is, sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes.  That's why we need really special one's now and then to make the walk a little more fun."  Man, ain't it the the truth?

So, yeah, I think it would even the playing field out a little bit if it were socially acceptable for me to be able to register for my European vacation the way other people register for their honeymoons.  Because the fact is, sometimes it's hard to travel to the most ROMANTIC city in all of the world with your SIBLING (no offense dear brother).  That's why singles need lots and lots of cash to spend when they get there, to make the trip a little more fun.

Or not.

(Parental Units, this is not directed at you.  You have both done enough and I thank you a million times over!!!  This is a commentary about our society and how shitty it treats it's single folk.  The single population has grown exponentially over the last 20-30 years and nothing is being done about how that changes things as far as what marks a life changing event, or what should and shouldn't be celebrated, and how.  Something's Gotta Give!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)