Better Off Dead (Part I of III)

Let's not get too macabre, "Better Off Dead", is also the title to a 1980's comedy starring John Cusack. Here's the deal though, I'm 35, single, female, broke and decidedly unfamous...oh, and I live in Hollywood. So, yeah...I might as well be dead...as far as this town is concerned.

So, the question begs: "Is it time to leave Hollywood?" and I just cannot get a firm grasp on the answer.

I've lived in Hollywood for 10 years. It used to be fun. I used to like it. But one day I woke up and looked around and realized that I had no friends, no career and no man...and wasn't in my 20's anymore. Now I feel like I'm the last person to get the clue that the party is indeed over and everyone else has long gone home...what the hell am I still doing here?

You might get the idea that I'm some kind of loser, but I can assure you I'm not...I don't think.

FRIENDS...OR LACK THEREOF

The no friends thing sort of just crept up on me. Los Angeles is a transient city, people come and go. I used to have a TON of friends. I had girlfriends from back home living here, but they have all since moved back to where they came from and married. I had one "best friend" for about 9 years, but we had a falling out last summer (the subject for another blog sometime). And then I had two gay friends who both left Los Angeles for New York. That right there is 6 people who were in my life and then* poof!* they were gone. And there have been others through the last decade...girls and guys from work who either move away, or change jobs and then make all new friends, or for whatever other reason just sort of fade into the distance the way some friendships do. At my current job, when I started there almost 7 years ago, I was still in my 20's and there were a few folks there who were a few years older than me, some in their 30's. Over the years as people have changed careers, gotten their "big break", or simply moved on, my boss has seen fit to start filling those spots with younger and younger replacements. Now, I am the oldest person there and have nothing in common with the chattering giggling girls who are still out there clubbing and basically doing what I stopped doing over 5 years ago. All of the friends in my age bracket who still live here and who I still keep in touch with are married. So, needless to say, the social life has become all but non-existent. Every once in a while I can get someone to go see a movie or have have lunch or something, but jeez, is that all there is?