Top 10 Reasons
(why I think I've been single for so long)
- There are no more "Rules" for dating
Remember the days when a man would come to your front door and your parents would usher him in to the living room where he would wait for you to descend the stairs and he would be sweating like a pig for fear that your father was going to shoot him in the leg and your mother was going to call his mother and shame his whole family if he didn't have you home by a certain hour and treat you with respect and dignity? Me neither.
These days there is no accountability. There is no system of checks and balances. No protocol. I just finished a Jane Austen movie marathon a few days ago (yes, it's been a bad last few weeks) and I just can't get over what a mess we've made of things over the last 100 or so years. I do not suggest that we return to that way of being, but somewhere between there and hear seems like it would be a good place for society as a whole to aim.
It used to be that if a man was attracted you, he'd ask you out and if you were attracted to him as well, you'd accept his offer and then you were pretty much a couple unless your family disapproved or some other huge obstacle got in your way. Nowadays, a man is attracted to you and about 30 other women, he can't decide which one he likes best, decides to sleep with all of them, and continues on this pattern until he's about 92 years old and can't be bothered to pick up his Viagra at the pharmacy.
Meanwhile, women keep falling for every romantic line they hear, chasing men who cannot be pinned down, losing more and more of their self esteem as our culture and the media shovel the notion that if you aren't 20 with the body of a 12 year old boy then you aren't worth taking up space or oxygen on this planet, and growing more and more bitter yet desperate. Which then becomes a catch-22 because the more bitter and desperate you become, the less and less a man will want you. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but I find that these exceptions are reserved for either very stupid women or very homely women. Because those are the only ones who I seem to see walking around with pregnant bellies and wedding rings. I imagine that this can be explained by the fact that if you marry a very stupid woman, you can cheat on her more easily and if you marry a homely woman, then the chances that she will cheat on you are very slim as who else would want her besides you?
Oh. My. God. Did I really just say that? Do I really believe that? What is happening to me???
Back to explaining women getting bitter...So, how many of us have gone on a splendid date with a man, maybe even two or three, and then you just never hear from him again? What the hell is that? Is it really so hard to pick up the phone and have an awkward moment where you explain, "Hey it was great getting to know you, but..."? I mean, how hard is that? I have a girlfriend who likes to tell the story of the guy she went on an amazing date with who ended up calling her a few days later to tell her that he had a great time with her and really thought she was a swell gal, but that he was going to try and patch things up with his ex who had suddenly reappeared in his life. This isn't the dream scenario that we've all been waiting for in life, but it's a great move on his part because it does several things:
1) It gives our girl closure. she knows that nothing she said or did caused this man to lose interest and she can rest easy on those counts.
2) It lets her know that he did in fact like her and respect her and this helps to keep her self esteem in tact (and I'm not saying anyone's self esteem should rest solely on what others think of us, but let's face it we ALL care what others think and if we deny that fact, we are lying---it's animal, we are social creatures, acceptance is key to survival).
3) It creates a dynamic wherein if these two individuals shall ever cross paths, everyone is on the same page and there need not be any awkwardness or confusion and in fact such a scenario can even play out as pleasant, whereas if you consider the alternative (where the man just drops off the face of the planet and the woman not only thinks that she's done something horribly wrong or is dreadfully unlikable, but that the man is a huge asshole), a meeting between the two can feel terribly uncomfortable and filled with animosity. Why create such a situation?
I can tell you right now that I will not be adding anything else to my "Top 10" list. I believe that all of my problems stem from this one issue alone. And I don't only blame men. There are women out there who are entitled, and cruel, and just down right crazy who ruin it for the rest of us. They drive men away from their natural instincts because the men feel they will get "burned" again. But, I'm not here to write a man's point of view. I don't believe I could even if I were to attempt it.
Of course I have issues and baggage just like the next gal, but if there were some type of protocol, I would have an easier time managing myself because when you know what to expect from another person and are ALLOWED to have SOME expectations, then you can prepare. And "success is when preparation meets opportunity". (That's a famous quote by a man named Henry Hartman)...I just googled it to make sure I gave proper credit. I have no idea who Henry Hartman is. Anyway, closure is important for me. If I don't get it...one word...MENTAL! I totally lose it and then the guy feels justified in dumping me cause then I really do seem crazy and ill fit to be with anyway, but it isn't true. I promise.
I'm going to end here for today, but this is by no means the end of this subject...only the beginning.
Good day.
No comments:
Post a Comment