Be My Little Baby

For several nights this week, my dreams have been about children. First it was Robert Downey Jr's imaginary children, then the actual children that I was a nanny for many years ago, and then last night the child of the owner of the restaurant that I work in.

In the past, my baby dreams were usually about me saving a child from a horrible situation, such as keeping one from falling out of a car into freeway traffic, or saving one from falling off of a very high balcony, and even saving one from a deranged mother, but these new dreams are of a different breed.

Last night I dreamt that this sweet little munchkin, let's call her "Lily", was running around a card shop with several of the girls that I work with and we were all taking turns playing with her and watching her and at one point she came up to me and said, "I'm a Vogue-aholic" (meaning she loved looking at the magazine Vogue--she's not even two years old!). We all thought that this was the funniest, cutest thing we had every heard and immediately rushed to find her grandparents so that she could repeat it for them.

Where the hell did "Vogue-aholic" come from? Well, lately as I've been growing out of my clothes I've been becoming more and more obsessed with the idea of buying some new ones. You know, clothes that actually fit, and so I've taken to going on-line and Googling pictures of Kate Moss and looking at Levi's.com, etc. Not to mention, yes, picking up a Vogue or two. So, I guess fashion has been on my mind.

It's funny how this stuff manifests itself into dreams. Now, there are those who believe that in dreams, each character is us and so when you interpret my baby dreams that way, it would seem that in the past there was a lot of anxiety, danger, and actual fear of death. These new dreams seem to be integrating some sense of acceptance and fun. Clearly, I've been able to work some stuff out in my life if my subconscious is thinking/feeling this way. Hurray for me!

Now, why am I manifesting everything into the realm of babies? Well, I'd say that's a no brainer. I'm driving several hundred miles this Friday just to log some baby time with my nephew who is only a few months old. The biological clock knows stuff. I am baby obsessed, baby desperate even! I must see babies. When I see babies, I must hold babies. And when I hold babies, I must kiss their fat little cheeks and play peek-a-boo with them until I get to see those huge toothless smiles. I must! It is imperative.

So, while my subconscious is working through some stuff, it is also longing. And when I long for something that I can't have my subconscious will make it a reality by dreaming it. When I dream, as I'm assuming is the case when we all dream, it feels real. I may not have a baby in real life and might not for some time, but in my dreams...