Good-bye "Keith"

Alright, so all of the hubbub of New Year's has settled down. Resolutions and plans have been made, hopes and dreams established, and the sage has been burnt to cleanse the stench of '09 from my life. And boy was it a real stinker! I have a fairly good idea of what a large portion of this year is going to look like as far as travel, career, pursuits, and hobbies goes. It all looks lovely. So now what?

Feeling free of the burden of man drama is admittedly a very nice feeling indeed. It was only a few days ago that I was expressing such, but as I change from day to day and never know how I'm going to feel, it's hard to tell how long I can hang on to an idea...and the idea that men are not needed is starting to lose its hold on me. For the moment.

Let's face it, life is BORING without a crush! No one to complain to your girlfriends about, no one who's communication style is very much like The Riddle of the Sphinx, subject to hours upon hours of interpretation, second-guessing, and general uncertainty. I mean, what am I supposed to think about all day long? How do you day dream when there's no face to the man? Resorting to heartthrobs is just too teenybopper for me, and to go back into the past and rummage through those whom I have either rejected, or even worse have rejected me, is pathetic! I will not do it!

I've had a hard time letting people go in the past...but as things change and as I grow emotionally, and spiritually too I suppose, I see how fruitless and how unhealthy it can be to not accept when something is over or that someone does not want you...especially when there is no closure! Closure seems to be a harder commodity to come by than even gold or real estate. It's hard to say good-bye when you don't have that tangible and valuable thing. But you have to.

So, as 2010 is upon us, upon me, I have to let go of the past and look toward the future...while being 100% in the present, of course! And I need a future face, a future man, a future crush!

And I need to say good-bye (sans closure) to the man who consumed most, if not all, of my fantasies in 2009. Let's call him "Keith".

Good-bye "Keith". I wish you all the best.

NEXT!