First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I didn't mention Christmas or the fact that the New Year was upon us in previous posts, so I thought I'd acknowledge it. Now I have, now let's move on...
I just woke from a dream where I was in the backyard of Robert Downey Jr.'s house and we were playing "Treasure Hunt" with his very small children. I guess I was the nanny in this scenario cause I remember how nice I thought it was that he included me in the family. RDJ doesn't have any small children (that I'm aware of), but it's a dream, so anything goes.
Not a bad dream to have...Robert Downey Jr. is hot. Although I would have preferred playing his wife and not the nanny. Clearly my sub conscious is struggling with feeling as though I do not belong (but sorta) and is also anxious to have a family of its own. All I can say to that is, "Hang in there subconscious...I'm workin' on it".
It's been about a week since I had that insane exchange with "Michael" about walking around with a shit eating grin on my face all of the time. Well, I've been doing it, and guess what? It works. I've been approaching every person with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart and I gotta say, it really does make a difference.
So far, I have no complaints. It doesn't take very much energy cause I'm not always worried about what people think of me. When you approach everyone with a smile, what can they think of you other than, "Wow, that girl seems really happy/friendly"? Also, I find that misunderstandings are fewer because no one is mistaking my bad attitude as being directed towards them...cause I haven't been displaying a bad attitude. This just seems to take a lot of the guess work out of things not only for me, but for everyone I encounter. And that's a marvelous thing.
I once met a woman at this gym that I used to go to and she always had a smile on her face. One day I said to her, "Wow, you always seem so happy!" and she said to me, "I make an effort to always have a smile on my face and it reminds me to be happy." I never forgot about this because this woman's smile was not fake, weighted or contrived. It was genuine. My smiles over the last week have also been completely genuine. It isn't for show, it's an all encompassing thing that also takes over my feelings, not just my demeanor. And now I know what that woman meant.
It's hard to have your face NOT match your feelings. Our faces were designed in such a way as to be clues to what's going on inside. Eyes are said to be the windows to the soul and I think that's very true. It is also coming into our awareness that thoughts come before feelings. It would then stand to reason that if you have a genuine smile on your face, that you are also having some type of genuinely positive thought in your mind which wouldn't leave a lot of room for all of that negative self talk that is usually consuming most of our time and energy.
I've made the decision that if I'm going to stay here in Los Angeles that I have to make more of an effort to make my life here work for me. This is just one of the small ways in which I am going to do that. I feel less defensive, less misunderstood and just all around healthier and happier. Of course I am aware that happiness is not a constant. It comes and goes with the good and bad times in our lives, but this one small thing, smiling, is something that I can do that doesn't cost me a thing.
I suggest you try it.
"You don't have to say a word, and it comes in every language...It's a universal sign, everyone can do it...Smile on! Pass it on!"~Deeee-Lite
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