So, in an effort to "get out there" and broaden my dating horizons, I decided to join MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) so that I could attend their annual party. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I joined for the art too, it's just that the added bonus of exposing myself to new people AND having something worthwhile to do on a Saturday night were the push that I needed to do something I've been wanting/meaning to do anyway for quite some time.
I did the right thing.
I have been bitching and moaning about how "this town", Hollywood, sucks so badly and is not a place for a single woman in her 30's for soooo long. And while it's completely valid and true...all I had to do was drive 2 miles East to solve the problem.
I stopped going out in Hollywood a few years ago when I was standing in what is now Bardot (it used to be the Spider Room) when I realized that every single person there was 10 years younger than me. It was a bad moment. Nobody ever tells you that this is what is going to happen and it is a slap in the face by a cold wet hand let me tell you.
I've dragged myself out for the odd birthday hear and there, or the odd adventure (saw an amazing DJ-Nosaj Thing-one night at some ghetto ass club in Eagle Rock), but other than that, as a personal rule...I just don't go out. There's just nothing it for me at this point. Drinking just for drinking's sake is simply not something that I enjoy anymore...I mean it was fun for about the first 15 years of my post adolescent life, but...after a while...something else needs to happen. I guess this is why people in their 30's do so much coke...I mean...at least it's "something else".
But, a few years ago I was invited to the MOCA party by a guy that I was dating and although he was the worst possible company and did everything in his power to annoy me that night...I still had a great time and I never forgot it. There's nothing quite like walking through a museum with a bunch of people who have a buzz on.
I invited my friend Meg to accompany me on my downtown adventure and I have to say...it was one of the most fun nights I've had in 10 years. Thanks Meg!
Now, due to the fact that I never go out...I do not have any "going out" clothes. This is kind of a problem. I was tempted to buy something, but since I'm about to embark on seven weeks of intense yoga training, I know my body is going to be changing drastically in a few months and I really didn't want to spend the money on something that I know I will never wear again. So, I decided..."F#$% IT!...I'll just wear jeans". I am so glad I changed my mind.
I have this one dress that I bought two xmases ago. It's Electric Blue. I wore it instead.
Two different people had recommended a restaurant downtown called "Bottega Louie" and this is where Meg and I had dinner. SUCH a good choice! The place is HUGE and there are no dividing walls. You can see everyone and everyone can see you. And we were ALL looking, plus, the place pretty much only employs hot dudes (and a few hot chicks as well--but yeah, mostly dudes), so we were immediately happy.
There is nothing more validating than walking into a room full of people and being stared at by everyone. Unless they are staring because you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe, or a booger hanging out of your nose. In Hollywood, people "steal glances" in the hopes that they don't ruin their "cool" facade and actually look interested in something or someone besides themselves, but here, it was very much what "going out" should be. People were interested in what was going on around them and weren't afraid to have a little fun with it. We were no exception.
We each had a Peach Bellini (fresh peach puree!) and we settled in to wait for our table (no reservations). We didn't wait long and the waiting was just as fun as the rest of the night because of all the people watching and flirting that was going on. We were giddy. There's no other way to describe it.
Dinner was pretty good, but if you go to this restaurant, don't bother with the Pork Chops. They were boring. But be sure to try the Portabello Fries. Yum!
After dinner it was off to the Museum. Now, I guess what's so great about these events for me is the people. You've got all different kinds of people. When you live in Hollywood, you kind of forget that there even ARE different kinds of people. There were kids, dudes with dread locks, girls in cocktail dresses (that would be us), moms, dads, hipsters, burnouts, professionals, whatever. And they all have one thing in common. They appreciate art. Not a bad building block for a social situation to have something like art in common with the person standing next to you. And certainly more refreshing than being in a room full of people who are simply desperate to be on television...even if it's just to sell tampons or Viagra.
There was one sad fellow who followed us around all night. An older gentleman who never quite got up the courage to talk to us and who's demeanor was creepy enough that we never initiated conversation with him either...even though we felt bad. Sorry creepy guy...maybe next time.
The art was what you would expect, a little bit brilliant, a little bit over our heads, a little bit unnecessary, and a lot a bit "I coulda done that"...or a dog with paint brushes attached to his feet...either way. I love that about modern art. And clearly, I'm not alone.
At one point a very Tall Dark and Handsome stranger came to enjoy one of the installations with Meg and I (now we're talkin'). I liked his approach: Confident, but not cocky, friendly, easy, and brief. Nice.
We were asked by one dude if he could take our picture. Why yes you can! And throughout the night, about every five minutes or so, someone would complement either my or Meg's dress. Double nice. (I was told by two dudes who claimed to be writers for the LA Times that I would be mentioned in the party review as "The Girl in the Electric Blue Dress"...I haven't seen anything yet, and they could have been bullshitters, but it was nice to hear either way. If I don't see anything by Sunday...I'll assume they were just really drunk).
As the night was coming to an end...or so we thought...we simply had to rest our feet. I hadn't worn heels since October.
We happened to sit next to a group of friendly folks who ended up inviting us to follow them to their next stop. Now here is one of the great things about this night...from start to finish there was never a point where Meg and I disagreed on what the next plan of action was going to be. It was the most smooth sailing I think I've ever had with another person hanging out on a night like this. There was never a time when either of us felt that the other was asking us to do something the other didn't want, or making a choice that hindered something the other person did want. We were so completely on the same page...no coercion necessary. It was nothing short of perfect...ANYHOO!...we decided that it might be fun to keep the night going since it was going so well and we decided to follow them to The Edison.
As we were leaving, the Tall Dark and Handsome stranger from earlier in the night offered me his card. To be continued?.... ;)
Our walk to The Edison had barely gotten underway before I had to take my shoes off. GROSS! But I was crippled by this point. I had been standing in stiletto's for over four hours and no matter how much I want to BE Carrie Bradshaw...alas...I am not...and the shoes came off. So, yeah, I walked downtown Los Angeles with bare feet. Feel free to judge. It was sick.
We were turned away from The Edison because of the the guys in our group was wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor's. Oh well. I get it...and I have to say, I like the idea of a strictly enforced dress code. We've become too casual as it is...I like a place with standards. Which brings us to The Standard, where they wanted us to pay twenty bucks to get in. Yeah, I don't f^@%#& think so.
So, we ended up at The Library Bar, which at this point was as good a place as any. Walking through downtown...well, walking PERIOD was super fun (don't get to do too much of that in Hollywood either), but it was time to hang our hats somewhere. We did a shot of Patron Silver (my suggestion) and settled in. It was refreshing to talk to people who weren't in the entertainment business. One of the guys was a political activist and the other two people...I don't know WHAT they did. And that just goes to show you how much fun we were having-you know-that we didn't even have to get into the whole "what do YOU do?" thing. We talked about music, the old San Francisco DJ scene, politics, and a whole bunch of other stuff...and then (drumroll please)...they offered us mushrooms (sound of record scratch). WHAT? We politely declined. I mean, I'm sorry, but last time I checked, I was wearing a cocktail dress and stiletto's...not a flannel and a pair of Dickie's...is this a camping trip or a Saturday night in the city? MUSHROOMS? Good grief people.
Shortly thereafter they told us of a party that they wanted to go to. Their friends apparently had this great place downtown with a hot tub. Well, I am a SUCKER for a hot tub. You can ask pretty much anyone...if a hot tub is in the mix. I'm not one to be a party pooper. I don't know what my deal is (maybe cause I was born in the 70's?), but I freakin' love hot tubs. Always have. Can't wait to have one of my own someday.
Well, when we got to this "party" it turned out to be just a couple sitting in their living room watching T.V. with their two dogs. Um...where's the hot tub? They lived in an apartment complex and being that they had security on duty, and we were all pretty tipsy (or trippin' on shrooms), there was no way that was gonna happen. So, we had to do "something else"...and that's when they offered us coke. We were still in LA after all...but No Thank You.
So, the night came to an end. But not before one of the girls in the group decided that my hair looked like salt water taffy or something, cause she proceeded to lick it. Um. Buh-bye now.
All in all it was a fun and interesting night. We met a lot of people. And even though this particular group was partying like it was going out of style, they were still fun, intelligent, friendly, and a nice change of pace from the norm.
So, the lesson learned is...LA doesn't suck. There are places where you don't have to be a twenty-something celebrity to be relevant.
And to be fair, I suppose it's possible that Hollywood doesn't suck either, it just depends on what you're into.
I think I'm onto something two miles East.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Butterfly Effect
IKEA is on my shit list.
I went to return a rug there last week and because I had opened the package I was told I could not make the return.
Um, what?
Me: How am I supposed to know what it looks like in my apartment?
IKEA Bitch: We have floor models.
Me: Is my apartment one of the floor models?
IKEA Bitch: (sound of crickets chirping)
I was also told that because I had ripped off the tags (the greatest of all mortal sins according to IKEA) that I had made the rug impossible to re-sell.
Um, what?
Because the next person who would want to purchase this rug would be really sad that THEY wouldn't get to rip the tags off?
Me: I don't understand what that has to to with anything.
IKEA Bitch: You must return the item in it's original packaging.
Me: It IS in the original packaging!
IKEA Bitch: No, you ripped the tags off.
Me: Tags and Packaging are two different things.
IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.
I was then directed to the "Customer Care" line...
...where I was greeted by a very "Caring" automated message.
Me: EXCUSE ME!!!! Can someone tell me how to reach a LIVE human being?
New IKEA Bitch: Oh, I don't know.
Me: Well, I don't work here and YOU do, so find out for me. NOW!
New IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.
I had to leave the store before I opened fire on hundreds of innocent victims with my imaginary "I HATE STUPID PEOPLE" Machine Gun...which along with everthing else that I own, had also been purchased at IKEA.
I have a call into Corporate as well as an email into their "Contact Us" site which is a copy of my glorious Yelp! review. I hope they enjoy.
I'm really not willing to let this go until I've spoken with the CEO personally.
That's just how I am.
You see, it's not really about their policy so much, but the terrible way in which I was treated...which was basically as though I were stinky and homeless and had dragged some ripped up old piece of nasty fabric from some dumpster somewhere.
I had my receipt. I had replaced the UNUSED and in perfect condition item back into it's "Original Packaging" just like their return policy stated I do. AND I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars at this store over the years.
It's just no way to treat a loyal and valuable customer and I need someone who ISN'T paid minimum wage to know exactly what the hell is going on down there at their stores. I'm sure someone with an IQ higher than 80 would be appalled that their customers were being treated in this manner, it's just a matter of getting one of those people on the line.
I'm not altogether sure that anyone with an IQ over 80 even works for IKEA...
On an even bigger level what is REALLY and TRULY bothering me about this whole thing is how the humanity is sucked out of every transaction between actual HUMANS these days. Anyone could see that I was an honest person who clearly shopped at that store a whole bunch (my receipt had tons of other items on it and the bill was quite high). If we had been able to just relate person to person, there wouldn't have been a problem. But, because a few ASSHOLES have to ruin it for the rest of us and take advantage of THE SYSTEM, certain RULES are then put in place and are enforced even when they don't make sense. And it's not just IKEA, it's everywhere.
Most large corporations, government machines, etc. fail to see the bigger picture. They fail to see how little things like this further separate us as human beings and create unnecessary tension and negativity in the world. Because of a stupid rule that makes no sense, three perfect strangers were thrown into a conflict...a conflict that carried negative energy from that situation into the next and into the next and into the next for the rest of the day and depending on how many people each of us were in contact with that day, THOSE people were then likely affected as well...and so on and so on and so on.
Is it really worth it? Would it make more sense just to do what EVERYONE knows is right and just let me return the stupid rug, get something else that will make me happy, save those two poor IKEA Bitches the time and energy of arguing a point that makes no sense and we can all move on with our lives?
It could be argued that I'm the only person not moving on, but it's really not like that.
I CAN see the bigger picture.
And I want to do my part to make it a prettier one.
I went to return a rug there last week and because I had opened the package I was told I could not make the return.
Um, what?
Me: How am I supposed to know what it looks like in my apartment?
IKEA Bitch: We have floor models.
Me: Is my apartment one of the floor models?
IKEA Bitch: (sound of crickets chirping)
I was also told that because I had ripped off the tags (the greatest of all mortal sins according to IKEA) that I had made the rug impossible to re-sell.
Um, what?
Because the next person who would want to purchase this rug would be really sad that THEY wouldn't get to rip the tags off?
Me: I don't understand what that has to to with anything.
IKEA Bitch: You must return the item in it's original packaging.
Me: It IS in the original packaging!
IKEA Bitch: No, you ripped the tags off.
Me: Tags and Packaging are two different things.
IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.
I was then directed to the "Customer Care" line...
...where I was greeted by a very "Caring" automated message.
Me: EXCUSE ME!!!! Can someone tell me how to reach a LIVE human being?
New IKEA Bitch: Oh, I don't know.
Me: Well, I don't work here and YOU do, so find out for me. NOW!
New IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.
I had to leave the store before I opened fire on hundreds of innocent victims with my imaginary "I HATE STUPID PEOPLE" Machine Gun...which along with everthing else that I own, had also been purchased at IKEA.
I have a call into Corporate as well as an email into their "Contact Us" site which is a copy of my glorious Yelp! review. I hope they enjoy.
I'm really not willing to let this go until I've spoken with the CEO personally.
That's just how I am.
You see, it's not really about their policy so much, but the terrible way in which I was treated...which was basically as though I were stinky and homeless and had dragged some ripped up old piece of nasty fabric from some dumpster somewhere.
I had my receipt. I had replaced the UNUSED and in perfect condition item back into it's "Original Packaging" just like their return policy stated I do. AND I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars at this store over the years.
It's just no way to treat a loyal and valuable customer and I need someone who ISN'T paid minimum wage to know exactly what the hell is going on down there at their stores. I'm sure someone with an IQ higher than 80 would be appalled that their customers were being treated in this manner, it's just a matter of getting one of those people on the line.
I'm not altogether sure that anyone with an IQ over 80 even works for IKEA...
On an even bigger level what is REALLY and TRULY bothering me about this whole thing is how the humanity is sucked out of every transaction between actual HUMANS these days. Anyone could see that I was an honest person who clearly shopped at that store a whole bunch (my receipt had tons of other items on it and the bill was quite high). If we had been able to just relate person to person, there wouldn't have been a problem. But, because a few ASSHOLES have to ruin it for the rest of us and take advantage of THE SYSTEM, certain RULES are then put in place and are enforced even when they don't make sense. And it's not just IKEA, it's everywhere.
Most large corporations, government machines, etc. fail to see the bigger picture. They fail to see how little things like this further separate us as human beings and create unnecessary tension and negativity in the world. Because of a stupid rule that makes no sense, three perfect strangers were thrown into a conflict...a conflict that carried negative energy from that situation into the next and into the next and into the next for the rest of the day and depending on how many people each of us were in contact with that day, THOSE people were then likely affected as well...and so on and so on and so on.
Is it really worth it? Would it make more sense just to do what EVERYONE knows is right and just let me return the stupid rug, get something else that will make me happy, save those two poor IKEA Bitches the time and energy of arguing a point that makes no sense and we can all move on with our lives?
It could be argued that I'm the only person not moving on, but it's really not like that.
I CAN see the bigger picture.
And I want to do my part to make it a prettier one.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Welcome to the Jungle
"Ass". "Pig". "Dog". These are just a few of the words used to describe "Keith" as of yesterday afternoon...and not all by me. Apparently "Keith" has become his own zoo.
Yesterday afternoon, as I was innocently minding my own business while bra shopping at Victoria's Secret, I noticed a man standing in front of me in line who looked very similar to Keith. He was thinner, with thinner hair, and was dressed like a total slob, but I recognized the shoes. Those stupid red suede Adidas.
As I stood there, I thought to myself, "That can't be Keith. Why would Keith be at Victoria's Secret? His daughter is only 4 years old, so he certainly isn't shopping for her. Did he reconcile with his wife? No, I heard they were getting a divorce. Why is he here? What is that lingerie in his hand? That's really ugly lingerie. Keith would never have that bad of taste in lingerie. Would he? Who is it for? Is he dating someone? Has he been dating someone long enough to buy them lingerie? I thought he said he wasn't ready to date? Is that Keith? It can't be Keith..."
And then I caught his profile and sure enough, it was Keith. Lingerie shopping.
Little did I know, as I was harboring hope that Keith would soon be over his ex-wife and ready to get back into the dating world, that he was actually already out there participating in it.
It was only last week that I had emailed him to see where he had been as of late and why he hadn't stopped by the restaurant for a visit. He went into this long cock and bull explanation about how busy he's been, etc. and said he would stop by soon. Um, when a woman with whom you've had an emotional involvement for a year sends you a flirty email telling you she wants to see you and you are banging someone else...isn't this the time to tell her, "Hey, I'm banging someone else."?
No. Apparently it isn't.
Even if you told this person...and I quote, "I always thought of you as someone I would want to be with if I wasn't married" (that used to be music to my ears, now I can barely type it without puking in my mouth a little bit), you should still not tell them you are banging someone else even though it's obvious this is information that this person needs to know.
No. What you SHOULD do is just hope that in a town as small as Hollywood, that you will never run into this person while lingerie shopping for the woman you are "casually" banging. And if you DO run into this person while buying pink and black leopard print "lingerie" (sorry, I'm more of a Cosabella or La Perla girl myself) what you do is...you stand there sweating like a "pig" and stumble through some retarded explanation of your shiteous morning of driving to and from the airport while the afore mentioned woman stands there thinking "Why the FUCK are you telling me this when all I want to know is, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUYING LINGERIE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN IN VICTORIA'S SECRET WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BE WITH ME AFTER YOU GET A DIVORCE!"
That's what you SHOULD do...according to Keith.
Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me ~ Guns n Roses
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Shananannananananana
Yesterday afternoon, as I was innocently minding my own business while bra shopping at Victoria's Secret, I noticed a man standing in front of me in line who looked very similar to Keith. He was thinner, with thinner hair, and was dressed like a total slob, but I recognized the shoes. Those stupid red suede Adidas.
As I stood there, I thought to myself, "That can't be Keith. Why would Keith be at Victoria's Secret? His daughter is only 4 years old, so he certainly isn't shopping for her. Did he reconcile with his wife? No, I heard they were getting a divorce. Why is he here? What is that lingerie in his hand? That's really ugly lingerie. Keith would never have that bad of taste in lingerie. Would he? Who is it for? Is he dating someone? Has he been dating someone long enough to buy them lingerie? I thought he said he wasn't ready to date? Is that Keith? It can't be Keith..."
And then I caught his profile and sure enough, it was Keith. Lingerie shopping.
Little did I know, as I was harboring hope that Keith would soon be over his ex-wife and ready to get back into the dating world, that he was actually already out there participating in it.
It was only last week that I had emailed him to see where he had been as of late and why he hadn't stopped by the restaurant for a visit. He went into this long cock and bull explanation about how busy he's been, etc. and said he would stop by soon. Um, when a woman with whom you've had an emotional involvement for a year sends you a flirty email telling you she wants to see you and you are banging someone else...isn't this the time to tell her, "Hey, I'm banging someone else."?
No. Apparently it isn't.
Even if you told this person...and I quote, "I always thought of you as someone I would want to be with if I wasn't married" (that used to be music to my ears, now I can barely type it without puking in my mouth a little bit), you should still not tell them you are banging someone else even though it's obvious this is information that this person needs to know.
No. What you SHOULD do is just hope that in a town as small as Hollywood, that you will never run into this person while lingerie shopping for the woman you are "casually" banging. And if you DO run into this person while buying pink and black leopard print "lingerie" (sorry, I'm more of a Cosabella or La Perla girl myself) what you do is...you stand there sweating like a "pig" and stumble through some retarded explanation of your shiteous morning of driving to and from the airport while the afore mentioned woman stands there thinking "Why the FUCK are you telling me this when all I want to know is, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUYING LINGERIE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN IN VICTORIA'S SECRET WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BE WITH ME AFTER YOU GET A DIVORCE!"
That's what you SHOULD do...according to Keith.
Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me ~ Guns n Roses
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Shananannananananana
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore
I am so sick and tired of watching couples take each other for granted. Serial daters, serial monogomists, and apparently according to Showtime's "Dexter", even serial killers are always in a relationship, and because of it, they cannot appreciate what they have...cause they don't know what it's like to go without.
If I had a dollar for every couple that I wait on at the restaurant that is absolutely MISERABLE together, I wouldn't have to work there anymore. Night after night it's the same thing. A couple comes in and they snap at or ignore each other, tell one another what to do, complain, belittle, and just generally mope while they dine together. It disgusts me.
I can't figure out what these people are still doing together. If you can't stand to look at his ugly face anymore, then get up and leave! And if the mere sound of her voice is driving you up the wall, what are you sticking around for? Has everyone lost faith in themselves and in love?
I know people have bad days, I have 'em too, but this goes beyond that. This is how a lot of people are just existing together. They are going through the motions day after day completely unaware that THIS is their life. Life isn't going to start later people, or when THIS is over. As Michael Jackson very succinctly, albeit posthumously, pointed out, "THIS IS IT!".
I watch over and over these people sit together and just MISS it. They clearly can't see the person sitting less than a foot away from them. If they were paying attention they would either be fascinated by this other individual, cause let's face it, people and life are just soooo fascinating!, or they would wake up and realize, "What the hell am I doing wasting another minute with this person?", cause let's face it, some people suck.
I want to shake people and say to them, "LOOK! Look at this gorgeous man right in front of you! Can't you see how lucky you are to have him?! Can't you see how lucky you are that he loves you? Can't you see how lucky you are to have someone to spend time with and to talk to, someone to wrap their arms around you?!". It goes both ways too, I would love to say the same to some men about the glorious women with whom they keep company.
And then there are the others to whom I would like to say, "RUUUUUN!!!! Run as fast as you can! Can't you see how your life is just slipping away from you? Can't you see how much time you are wasting and how bad this person and this situation is for you?!?! Don't you know there is happiness out there for you? DON'T GIVE UP!"
If any of these people could remember both the glory and the loneliness of being single (if in fact any of them ever have been...I know a lot of people have been in some kind of a relationship since about third grade), then surely they would either: A) Reflect on those lonely days and remember to appreciate the person they have been blessed with sharing their life with, or B) Get the hell out of an un-fulfilling relationship that is toxic to everyone involved and just spend some quality time with themselves for once...and then go find someone who doesn't make them want to vomit 24/7.
It pains me because I see the same patterns over and over. The women nag and boss the men around and then the men simply tune out and/or become doormats. There are other patterns, but this is the one I see the most. And I'm not hating on women, my guess is that the nagging starts because the men don't step up to the plate most of the time (cause these people probably aren't right for each other and he probably isn't really in love) and it just becomes this vicious cycle.
To be a single gal and want so badly to find someone to love is hard sometimes. Not all of the time, but yeah...a lot of the time. And it adds salt to the wound to see people just waste one another when I know how much I would appreciate having someone in my life. I feel like the many years on my own have been a great training ground for what NOT to do when I finally do find that special someone. I feel lucky in that way.
I too have been guilty of taking someone for granted and nagging and all of the rest, but that's because THEY WEREN'T RIGHT FOR ME!!!! Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I plan to learn from these observations.
There is someone out there for everyone...even "Dexter", so I'm not going to give up on the hope that I might find someone someday to sit across from in a restaurant and be fascinated by the words coming out of their mouth, or intrigued by the shape of their face. I will remember being lonely and feel grateful to have them in my life. I will remember the freedom of being single and respect that they too are making a compromise to be with me. And most of all, I will remember to feel blessed that this person has chosen to spend their time with me when there are so many others out there to choose from.
You WILL Bring Me Flowers...
but I will bring you some too:)
If I had a dollar for every couple that I wait on at the restaurant that is absolutely MISERABLE together, I wouldn't have to work there anymore. Night after night it's the same thing. A couple comes in and they snap at or ignore each other, tell one another what to do, complain, belittle, and just generally mope while they dine together. It disgusts me.
I can't figure out what these people are still doing together. If you can't stand to look at his ugly face anymore, then get up and leave! And if the mere sound of her voice is driving you up the wall, what are you sticking around for? Has everyone lost faith in themselves and in love?
I know people have bad days, I have 'em too, but this goes beyond that. This is how a lot of people are just existing together. They are going through the motions day after day completely unaware that THIS is their life. Life isn't going to start later people, or when THIS is over. As Michael Jackson very succinctly, albeit posthumously, pointed out, "THIS IS IT!".
I watch over and over these people sit together and just MISS it. They clearly can't see the person sitting less than a foot away from them. If they were paying attention they would either be fascinated by this other individual, cause let's face it, people and life are just soooo fascinating!, or they would wake up and realize, "What the hell am I doing wasting another minute with this person?", cause let's face it, some people suck.
I want to shake people and say to them, "LOOK! Look at this gorgeous man right in front of you! Can't you see how lucky you are to have him?! Can't you see how lucky you are that he loves you? Can't you see how lucky you are to have someone to spend time with and to talk to, someone to wrap their arms around you?!". It goes both ways too, I would love to say the same to some men about the glorious women with whom they keep company.
And then there are the others to whom I would like to say, "RUUUUUN!!!! Run as fast as you can! Can't you see how your life is just slipping away from you? Can't you see how much time you are wasting and how bad this person and this situation is for you?!?! Don't you know there is happiness out there for you? DON'T GIVE UP!"
If any of these people could remember both the glory and the loneliness of being single (if in fact any of them ever have been...I know a lot of people have been in some kind of a relationship since about third grade), then surely they would either: A) Reflect on those lonely days and remember to appreciate the person they have been blessed with sharing their life with, or B) Get the hell out of an un-fulfilling relationship that is toxic to everyone involved and just spend some quality time with themselves for once...and then go find someone who doesn't make them want to vomit 24/7.
It pains me because I see the same patterns over and over. The women nag and boss the men around and then the men simply tune out and/or become doormats. There are other patterns, but this is the one I see the most. And I'm not hating on women, my guess is that the nagging starts because the men don't step up to the plate most of the time (cause these people probably aren't right for each other and he probably isn't really in love) and it just becomes this vicious cycle.
To be a single gal and want so badly to find someone to love is hard sometimes. Not all of the time, but yeah...a lot of the time. And it adds salt to the wound to see people just waste one another when I know how much I would appreciate having someone in my life. I feel like the many years on my own have been a great training ground for what NOT to do when I finally do find that special someone. I feel lucky in that way.
I too have been guilty of taking someone for granted and nagging and all of the rest, but that's because THEY WEREN'T RIGHT FOR ME!!!! Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I plan to learn from these observations.
There is someone out there for everyone...even "Dexter", so I'm not going to give up on the hope that I might find someone someday to sit across from in a restaurant and be fascinated by the words coming out of their mouth, or intrigued by the shape of their face. I will remember being lonely and feel grateful to have them in my life. I will remember the freedom of being single and respect that they too are making a compromise to be with me. And most of all, I will remember to feel blessed that this person has chosen to spend their time with me when there are so many others out there to choose from.
You WILL Bring Me Flowers...
but I will bring you some too:)
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