The Butterfly Effect

IKEA is on my shit list.

I went to return a rug there last week and because I had opened the package I was told I could not make the return.

Um, what?

Me: How am I supposed to know what it looks like in my apartment?

IKEA Bitch: We have floor models.

Me: Is my apartment one of the floor models?

IKEA Bitch: (sound of crickets chirping)

I was also told that because I had ripped off the tags (the greatest of all mortal sins according to IKEA) that I had made the rug impossible to re-sell.

Um, what?

Because the next person who would want to purchase this rug would be really sad that THEY wouldn't get to rip the tags off?

Me: I don't understand what that has to to with anything.

IKEA Bitch: You must return the item in it's original packaging.

Me: It IS in the original packaging!

IKEA Bitch: No, you ripped the tags off.

Me: Tags and Packaging are two different things.

IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.

I was then directed to the "Customer Care" line...

...where I was greeted by a very "Caring" automated message.

Me: EXCUSE ME!!!! Can someone tell me how to reach a LIVE human being?

New IKEA Bitch: Oh, I don't know.

Me: Well, I don't work here and YOU do, so find out for me. NOW!

New IKEA Bitch: Me no speaka de english.

I had to leave the store before I opened fire on hundreds of innocent victims with my imaginary "I HATE STUPID PEOPLE" Machine Gun...which along with everthing else that I own, had also been purchased at IKEA.

I have a call into Corporate as well as an email into their "Contact Us" site which is a copy of my glorious Yelp! review. I hope they enjoy.

I'm really not willing to let this go until I've spoken with the CEO personally.

That's just how I am.

You see, it's not really about their policy so much, but the terrible way in which I was treated...which was basically as though I were stinky and homeless and had dragged some ripped up old piece of nasty fabric from some dumpster somewhere.

I had my receipt. I had replaced the UNUSED and in perfect condition item back into it's "Original Packaging" just like their return policy stated I do. AND I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars at this store over the years.

It's just no way to treat a loyal and valuable customer and I need someone who ISN'T paid minimum wage to know exactly what the hell is going on down there at their stores. I'm sure someone with an IQ higher than 80 would be appalled that their customers were being treated in this manner, it's just a matter of getting one of those people on the line.

I'm not altogether sure that anyone with an IQ over 80 even works for IKEA...

On an even bigger level what is REALLY and TRULY bothering me about this whole thing is how the humanity is sucked out of every transaction between actual HUMANS these days. Anyone could see that I was an honest person who clearly shopped at that store a whole bunch (my receipt had tons of other items on it and the bill was quite high). If we had been able to just relate person to person, there wouldn't have been a problem. But, because a few ASSHOLES have to ruin it for the rest of us and take advantage of THE SYSTEM, certain RULES are then put in place and are enforced even when they don't make sense. And it's not just IKEA, it's everywhere.

Most large corporations, government machines, etc. fail to see the bigger picture. They fail to see how little things like this further separate us as human beings and create unnecessary tension and negativity in the world. Because of a stupid rule that makes no sense, three perfect strangers were thrown into a conflict...a conflict that carried negative energy from that situation into the next and into the next and into the next for the rest of the day and depending on how many people each of us were in contact with that day, THOSE people were then likely affected as well...and so on and so on and so on.

Is it really worth it? Would it make more sense just to do what EVERYONE knows is right and just let me return the stupid rug, get something else that will make me happy, save those two poor IKEA Bitches the time and energy of arguing a point that makes no sense and we can all move on with our lives?

It could be argued that I'm the only person not moving on, but it's really not like that.

I CAN see the bigger picture.

And I want to do my part to make it a prettier one.