An American Girl in Paris~Part Un

That title is a straight up rip off from Sex and the City.  Too bad.  I'm takin' it.  They ripped it off of a Gene Kelly movie anyway...

Day 1:

Valuum + Ten Hour Plane Ride = No Jetlag.  I highly recommend it.

The men here are all gorgeous and I am really digging the way they dress.  Everyone in the states is a poseur, but we already knew that.

Ended up eating Thai food for my first Parisian meal.  I know.  Blasphemy.  It's just the way things worked out.  After 21 hours of travel and only about a 3 hour nap we (my brother and I) were dehydrated and didn't want to eat Cheese and Wine.  We figured if we weren't going French it didn't matter what hell we ate.  The food was good and the two guys sitting behind my brother were fun to stare at all through dinner.  Hawt!

Since we didn't get in til 8pm there isn't much else to report today.

Did I mention how cute all of the men are?  Oh, I did?  Okay, well then yeah, guess I'm off to bed.

Bonsoir!

P.S.  The men here are really cute...


Day 2:

Woke up at 6am (after going to bed at 1am) and couldn't fall back to sleep...spent the next two hours watching my brother sleep.   Bastard.

Forgot to drink my "Smooth Move" tea before bed last night.  Walked the streets of Paris all day with the stomach of a woman who is about seven to ten months pregnant.  This did not stop me from eating a ginormous Ham and Cheese Crepe in the park.

Walked the entire length of the city and back (the equivalent of walking the treadmill at the gym for a total of five hours at speed 4.0), plus climbed the never ending stairs inside the Arc de Triomphe and somehow managed to still gain about six pounds.  Wtf?

Met up with my sister-in-laws parents for some sightseeing (local style) and dinner.  I know I am supposed to say something snarky here because in-laws are usually lame.  Not so in this case.  They rock the Kasbah.  Got the full on public transit education and the rest of our itinerary mapped out.  Plus had super fun dinner, etc.  All in-laws should rule like this.

Was lucky to get through dinner without face planting into my "Glace" and having a trail of Zzzzz's sprouting out of my head like in a cartoon, so I must go to sleep immediately if not sooner.

Drank two cups of "Smooth Move" while writing this blog.  The fact that I've shared this info might help explain why I'm still single, but whatevs, tomorrow is gonna start with a bang!

Bonsoir!

Day 3


Today did not start with a "bang".  My stomach issues apparently go waaaay beyond Smooth Move's capabilities.  Well, that's not entirely true, I almost had an accident trying to find the restroom when I got off the train at Versailles.  For those of us who are slow, that means I almost pooped my pants.

I ended up using the "toilet" at a very chic McDonalds.  Dang, I mean, the French know how to make ANYTHING nice (except the word for restroom, which is "toilet" and sounds gross as all get out).  I gotta say.  This McDonalds had a lounge/wi-fi area and a cafe with a dessert/pastry case and a real espresso machine.  What the what?!  The States need to get with the program.  I didn't eat at the McDonalds though.  I'm trying not to come home from this trip disguised as a fat cow.

Versaille is AMAZEBALLS!  We must have walked 35 to 40 miles easy.  I'm crippled now and am not sure how tomorrow is going to pan out if I do not have the use of my legs.

After Versaille (which literally takes all day), we took the train, then the metro, to Montmarte (made famous by the genius and beloved film Amelie).  Unfortunately, we were too tired to hunt down the locations from that film, but we did peak in on a church service in the Sacre Coeur.  The smell of incense and the sounds of the priests (or whoever) praying reminded me of yoga and chanting and I got a little bit emotional.  Then we ate at a hip little cafe where this adorable Parisian kept staring at me.

I am enjoying my brother's company, but there is no way that I am going to have a romantic interlude while I am traveling with a man.  We are totally unintentionally cock-blocking each other and it sorta reeks.  That being said, we have too much to do and see to deal with being hungover, so we can't really get into too much of a nightlife scenario anyway.

After dinner we stumbled through the rest of the district and on to The Moulin Rouge...which is on a street that has nothing but sex shops.  Then I remembered how Amelie's boyfriend worked at a sex shop and I sighed longingly...but kept on walking.

Bonsoir!